“Your lips are my favorite. Your hands are my favorite. Everything about you is my favorite.” — SIREN, found in a letter to a lover.
An excerpt
Him: How’s that friend of the family who’s pursuing you.
SIREN: It went downhill. Just weird. We still talk. He’s still infatuated. I’m over it.
Him: I love watching guys get infatuated with you, which clicks on your ‘im over it”
SIREN: That’s not why I’m over it. I want to be desired by a man just as much as I desire him but I know the difference between a man falling for the idea of me versus me. He was caught up in the idea of me and put me on a peddle stall. He admits to this event. And its long distance. And he wants a relationship. Neither of which I want. He literally in our 2nd or 3rd conversation said he wanted an intimate relationship with me. Just me.
Him: Gotcha.
SIREN: Confessed his love. Like fucking geez.
Him: Well, can’t fault him but I know you don’t want that.
SIREN: I kept saying you don’t know me.
Him: Hey sometimes we really like people. It happens.
SIREN: Then he got upset. Started calling me names. It’s just whatever. Thinking about it annoys me.
Him: You don’t even seem to have a problem with being stuck on someone. But many people do. Not defending them though.
SIREN: Basically the more I get to know him the more I know I don’t want anything with him. Maybe a friendship.
Him: Just saying it happens a lot. I hear ya.
SIREN: Sure it happens. Whatever. It’s honestly exhausting though.
Him: No, “Whatever.” Just grain of salt.
SIREN: I can’t be nice if you keep pushing me. Eventually I’m going to make an annoyed asshole comment. Then the guy’s ego gets bruised and it just…it’s all dumb.
Him: The curse of being so desired
SIREN: Ha.
Him: I bet other girls would love to have your problem.
SIREN: I get it. I understand some people get caught up in the idea of me. But really its all just the idea of me and they need to take it down a notch. Any who. Still dating Chocolate. He rocks.
Him: Maybe its not the idea of you. Maybe they just don’t know you super well. But someone can honestly like what they see. Maybe what they see isn’t EVERYTHING cause it hasn’t been enough time.
SIREN: That’s what I mean by the idea of me. They catch a glimmer of something awesome.
Him: Well what are they supposed to do? Not like what they see. If you like it, you want more.
SIREN: Then they build this whole fantasy around it. They can like me but don’t build a whole fantasy around it.
Him: He has to push and go after you if he wants to get to know you better.
SIREN: That’s a different thing. That’s fine. That’s call seduction and getting ot know a person and pursuing things. That’s cool. I mean a guy sees something, like this guy. He saw me at an event. He liked what I did. He liked my ass. Thought I was cute. Then in his head, “I’m amazing. I dance. I write. I do all these awesome things and I’m the best woman in the entire world.”…. according to him. This is what he literally say to me. And its just…its whatever. There’s a difference. There’s a difference between seeing something and wanting more or it and learning about it versus being infatuated and confessing your love on day fucking two. Having conversations like, “So what do you think of us?” a week after I met you and its only long distance phone conversations. WHAT THE FUCK? I hate those conversations even when I AM in a relationship with someone. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. It’s really stupid and childish. He’s just not who I’d want to be with. On a different note, I have been dating this other guy in addition to Chocolate. This guy has been pursuing me in a very romantic, authentic, seductive and sometimes vulgar but delicious way.
“Why does my body still remember you? I thought I was over this. Maybe its just passing memory. It feels more like regression. That dream was so strong and so intense, I almost called you. Maybe its the equinox. We always were drawn to the sun and made love by the moon. I need your spirit to stop calling me. I need to be purified of you.” — SIREN
Just wow. More of his poetry.
I’m found in the confines of need and want…u dangle there perfect. .like magic &art…like the breath of god blown in my lungs …u are time and the fevered beating of an angels wings … love desire and prayer. ..the best story in a book of stories that have passed thru the imaginations of children’s and becomes the laughter of first freedoms …u are my water and air. ..the blessing of my communion
“I’ve given guys blow jobs just because I’ve run out of things to talk about.’
Oh, Rae. Who hasn’t”
— ― Anne Lamott, Crooked Little Heart
An excerpt.
SIREN: I’m still wearing the bracelet you gave me. I really really like it.
Every time I’ve been with you, you gift me with something. I’m not used to that.
Him: Should I stop?
SIREN: I’m just saying I’m not used to that, is all. I’ve loved it all. The books, the orchid, the necklace, the bracelet, the painting. I’m just saying this is different for me.
Him: Different is good and they are adornments and token expressions of my feelings. I think they make you happy and do the same for me. You deserve to be gifted. I like you.
SIREN: I like you too. A lot.
Him: Futhermore, you are special and should be treated as such. These little gifts are reminders of that. You are a queen and a wonderful example of giving of yourself to others. Someone should also give to you. I took the job.
An Open Letter to Chocolate,
If I could fuck you every day I would. That’s aside from the other things I do in life and your passion and career. But if I could fuck you every day I would. I would take each day of the week to focus on one body part and I would become the master of that body part. And as the weeks progressed I would find new techniques and approaches to each section of you. I’d spend Thursday just licking your skin and perhaps Saturday would be about the intimacy in just looking you in your eye, deeply, quietly, intently. And maybe Wednesday, I’d spend hours with your cock down my throat…further and further. I’d do this. Because I hunger for you. I want you. All of the time. You fulfill me. You teach me. You entice me. You fire me up. You turn me on. I just want you around.
Bu I meter my attraction to you. And maybe that’s the coward’s way out but I measure my approach to you. I don’t want to appear too eager or annoy you or to be that girl.
But know that you are everything I want in a lover and a friend and if the world were according to me, ….my world would be made of dark chocolate.
(Source: locotronic)
An Excerpt.
Him: I saw your post the other day about firemen.
SIREN: Yeah, I have this fantasy. I want to fuck a fireman and I haven’t yet.
Him: Yeah I saw it and I was a little jealous. Just a little. Okay I’m joking. But sort of, I thought, “Why would she want a fireman, she has an artist?”
SIREN: Its a fantasy. And hopefully one day it will come true.
An excerpt.
Him: You’re everything I want in a woman. You’re geeky and nerdy but then you’re a ho.
SIREN: (laughs. At the exact moment I was prancing around his bedroom in a sequin bikini and 7 inch heels while doing seductive movement. I am a pole dancer after all.)
Him: I didn’t offend you, did i?
SIREN: I know what you mean.
Him: Its just that you’re so bright and so creative but then you’re so slutty.
SIREN: (laughs again.) I think a lot of women are this way but they are scared of showing all the sides of them. I’m not afraid to be all of me.